Salsa and other hilarities

No grilling this 4th of July. At our house grilling magically opens some kind of conduit that allows countless flies to infiltrate our house. As soon as the charcoal starts they gather, waiting patiently for us to realize we forgot the pickles, and then they charge the opening door. Instead, we opted for taco salad and watermelon. I will be eternally grateful to my high school boyfriend for teaching me to make salsa. I have it just about perfected now. I sometimes catch myself fantasising about winning some salsa cook off, creating some major controversy since I am a virtual unknown....

During dinner, Shane brought up an interesting subject:

• Shane - "So, I heard on the news that it was discovered that eating watermelon rind causes the loosening of blood vessels"
• Me - "The loosening of blood vessels? What does that mean?
• Shane pauses. Looks at me with raised eye brows- "It is like nature's Viagra."
• Me - "Shut up"
• Shane - "No seriously, apparently you have to eat copious amount of it for it to have an effect, so scientists are trying to displace the properties to the flesh of the watermelon.

Oh man - this got an awesome dialogue going as we thought of the implication of this coming to pass. (Most of which is not okay for a family friendly blog discussion.) Where exactly would they sell these watermelons? In the regular grocery store? Would they have huge warning labels that this fruit should not be consumed in large quantities, or by boys during puberty? Would sex shops put in refrigeration sections that sold oysters, figs and watermelon?


I thought of a fantastic commercial for this newly enhanced produce. A older man and his younger wife sit at the table eating a luxurious meal of lobsters and wine. They gaze into each others eyes and she whispers, "I am going upstairs", he smiles knowingly and replies, "I will be up in a moment". She smiles and walks up the stairs, the camera following her. Suddenly, she reaches up to her ear and realizes that she has lost an earring. She sighs and walks back down the stairs to find it. As she turns the corner she gasps as she discovers her husband viciously devouring an entire watermelon half, juice and pulp soaking him entirely.