As I'm sure more experienced parents could guess, we now cannot imagine our home without our little boy. Not much for screaming (thank heavens) his little kitten-like cries pull me immediately from whatever I am doing to comfort him. I listen to Shane on the baby monitor cooing and cuddling Collin, calling him "my little man" and I know Shane is thrilled to have a son. Lydia is completely captivated by Collin, so much that it feels as if half of my life is nursing and the other half is protecting Collin from a big sister who doesn't know what "softly" means.
Things will get back to normal eventually. Shane and I will be able to have weekly dates again. Nights will become restful someday. My house will return to some semblance of organization and I will see my girlfriends in time. Right now however, I am trying to enjoy this little pocket of time when I am everything to my baby. Too soon, I will miss holding him close to me at night. Someday, very soon, this part will be over. I wished away Lydia's baby days. Of course, they were the most difficult day's of my life. However, I know, so clearly now that those days of pure innocence are so fleeting. The days of lullabies and milky kisses pass by and all I will have left of them will be hazy memories. But for right now, they are my reality, and for that I am eternally grateful.