Saturday, September 29, 2018
Collaboration over Competition
What does Collaboration over Competition mean to me?
It was about finding my tribe.
My entire life I have been a little confused by women. I liked women - as a whole. But individually I found them relatively bewildering. It was if all girls, and then women, were in competition with each other. For almost….. everything.
Competition is something that doesn't resinate with me. It’s almost as if I didn’t get that particular gene. Which in some ways has been good. I’m not a sore loser. I don’t feel bothered by others achievements, and I am rarely - if ever- intimidated.
But it also makes having relationships with other women difficult at times. I didn’t quite understand the rules. I’ve been extremely lucky to always have a few close friends. But I learned that large groups of women were dangerous. That women who felt lacking in particular areas, would lash out at women who didn’t appear to share those failings. That women who achieved were villainized. “Progress further at your own risk!”
To me, women who achieved were interesting. Women who were doing new things and meeting great goals were worth knowing. Were worth the effort of friendship. Would help me grow.
There was a time I had given up on having a large group of female friends. I had relied on finding them though mutual life experience. Women in my church. Women with children the same age as me. And while I met many very kind people, it never quite fit.
Then I became an entrepreneur. I will never forget the first Entrepreneurial meeting I went to. It was a revelation. A group of women discussing their ideas and goals - receiving nothing but sincere excitement and approval. Women contributing advice and praise - even when no personal gain was to be received. Women who did NOT SEE ANOTHER’S ACHIEVEMENTS AS THREATENING. I felt myself speaking plans, ideas and hopes, without reservation. The room was full of capable, smart, interesting and driven women. Not there to prove dominance - but to offer community.
I went home that night and told my husband that I had finally found my tribe.
To me - Collaboration over Competition is about women being strong enough to be the people they aspire to be. - And understanding that helping others with that same goal raises all of us together.
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