Thursday, November 6, 2008

Worst Movies Ever

In college I took a course on Film criticism. The first day in class the professor warned us that we would never really be able to enjoy movies the same way again. He said that we would analyze every detail and only the really fantastic movies would meet our standard. To me that sounded a lot like being an extreme snob and I didn't want to be included in that club. My Netflix account is a cornucopia (it's November. I have to use that word) of classics, blockbusters and random feel good movies like 27 Dresses and About a Boy. I like a lot of movies. In the same token, I will admit there are some movies that are really bad. (Anyone get through Leatherheads? I only made it an hour in before I shut it off.)

I have complied a list of my 5 worst movies of all time. It was surprisingly easier than making a list of my favorites. (That list is still in the works.) I know if I went to the video store and walked around, I would probably find some more sucky gems to add to the list, but these are the ones that really stand out.

5. Bed of Roses - I will quote Shane on this one. (He has never seen the movie.) "Natalie. The name of the movie is BED OF ROSES. Exactly how good could it be?"

4. HellBoy- I have strange respect for this movie. Yes, it sucked. Really really blew. But Shane was the person who decided that we would see this movie - and pay full price for it in the theater. Now occasionally, when we are having a disagreement, I call him Hellboy to remind him that his judgement cannot always be trusted. It has won me several arguments.

3. Batman and Robin - Arnold Schwarzenegger dressed as the iceman growling "Chill, chill, chill" still haunts me as one of the lamest cinematic moments ever.

2. Autumn in New York - Jerky older man in love with a younger sweet thing who is dieing of a heart disease. The entire movie I prayed she would just have a heart attack and put the audience out of our misery. Oh Winona. I will always love you after Reality Bites, but this movie (and the shoplifting) killed your carrier.

1. Down to You - I will just say it. WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. It is almost genius in its stupidity. The writing is abysmal. The storyline cannot be followed. The acting. Oh the acting! Freddy Prince has played the same unlikable character in all of his movies. But this was a real low point for Julie Stiles. And that is saying a lot coming from me. Julie Stiles is my least favorite actress.

I can't say it any better than this:

"Flees from anything that might involve real human emotion, or for that matter any credible human activity other than looking good. "
A.O. Scott
New York Times
"The script, which simply doesn't work at all, and reduces the characters to lumpen, uninteresting blobs" Rich Cline Shadows on the Wall
"The race for the year's worst film has begun". Erik Childress

Now I want to know some of your least favorite movies.......
The winner for the Candle Bright Creations is Elaine!
Email your favorite key chain and address. Congrats!


Anonymous said...

Hands down, worst movie ever:


Seriously, raining frogs, a screaming ugly tom cruise, no plot, paul thomas anderson wrote it, and worst actors ever: john c reily, phillip semour hoffman.

seriously - worst piece of crap ever made. i actually asked the manager of the theater for my money back after offending my eyes with that crap.

Chris said...

I have to strongly disagree with you on Hellboy. Perhaps it's because I have a 9-year old boy who lives and breathes all things Hellboy, but I like it. I HAVE To like it. As for my worst? I have a LOT of them. Runaway Train with Jon Voigt. So, so horrible. And also The English Patient. I've never WANTED to like a movie so much only to find that it sucked!

Dover Fam said...

I Like Bed of Roses but that is ok. :) I must say my least favorite movie is STAR WARS but the "worst" movie DUNE!!!!!!!!

Weeksie50 said...

I hated THE HOURS and it won tons of awards.. Ugh.

Natalie Jane said...

Dover Fam - Your least favorite movie is Star Wars?!

AhsMom said...


and not just because my son is from Kazakhstan and this movie is insulting to all Kazakhstani's. We went to see it in the theater and walked out half way through. It is just that bad.

Anonymous said...

Oh man! Seriously! So many movies are just a pile o' dog poop in my opinion. My husband and some friends of ours have a sense of humor that is waaay different from mine so they just *love* to drag me to the dumbest movies ever. Here are some my most hated movies:

1. Superbad (at least they named the movie correctly)

2. Talledega Nights -the story of Ricky Bobbie

3. Good Luck Chuck (I had hopes for this one but apparently not)

4. Knocked Up

5. Napoleon Dynamite (I just don't get it)

6. My Best Friends Girl

7. Anchorman

8. American Beauty (I wanted to grab hold of the plastic bag and strangle myself with it)

There's more but I think that's enough. I must agree with you on several of your movie choices!!

April said...

Ghostrider with Nicholas Cage- Chay and I were so bored and so annoyed with it- National Treasure- the first one was a drag too-

Someone didn't like Star Wars? Really? and Napoleon Dynamite? I don't think you are supposed to analyze that show too much- it's not meant to be understood- and it is only funny after you watch it and you begin to talk about it.

lisa said...

you are SO right about Autumn in New York. I couldn't make it through the entire movie, it was so painful.

Anonymous said...

The worst movie ever was Talledega Nights.....

Jen R. said...

Ok I LOVE Bed of Roses. It's on my list of terrible movies that I'm embarrassed that I LOVE! There is even a whole blog post dedicated to this list! But a movie I hate is Sweet November. WORST ending ever.

Vanessa said...

Ghost Rider. So lame!

Good Luck Chuck. I can't get those 2 hours of my life back and the vision of all those boobs out of my head. (sorry, i just had to say it.)

Becky said...

Hands down, I despise Napoleon Dynamite. YUCK. HATE IT!

tristanjh said...

Dumb and Dumber, any of the Austin Powers movies...stupid humor just doesn't work for me. Not that you asked, but I think Seinfeld is the quite possibly the worst television show of all time. I realize that it was insanely popular, and admittedly there were one or two moderately funny episodes, but certainly not worth paying the lead actor 1 million per episode!

blah, blah by lindsey said...

OH MY...Bed of Roses is horrible. I wanted to like it, I tried several times. I do agree with your whole list. Even though I do have a husband and a son that love Hellboy. I guess it is a guy thing.

I hated the movie Random Heart as well. And Leatherheads, we turned it off. Too bad

Amy @ Living Locurto said...

What was the latest one where they showed the guy's wee wee? That was the WORST movie I've seen lately. Oh... Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Ugh. Awful!

All the movies I've walked out of, I can't remember the titles. There have only been a few. I have a terrible memory! ha.

Shanda said...

Just one word for me.



Okay, that's two words.

Annie1 said...

Omgosh lololol, My cousin was in Bed of Roses and it was so bad!!

She was the best friend of the lead female role!


10,000BC HORRID ahhhh
Bangkok Dangerous....ahhhhhh
Taladega Nights was AWUFL

Now, I enjoyed Dune lol and I loved American Beauty.

Natalie Jane said...

Totally agree with Zohan. That should probably be on my list, but I only got halfway through it. When Adam Sandler caught the fish in his butt I was, no.

Jerilee E. said...

The worst two movies I've ever seen:

Home Fries (Drew Barrymore and I think Luke Wilson.. just AWFUL!)

Simply Irresistible (Sarah Michelle Gellar... the worst movie I have ever seen/wish I had NEVER seen)

Abby said...

Dave and I went and saw Napolean Dynamite twice in the theatre - the first time because we heard it was amazing and we spent the whole time waiting for the real movie to start and wondering if we were seeing the same screen as everyone else who was laughing hysterically. The second time was to give it another chance now that we knew not to expect anything - and we walked out feeling like we'd wasted another 2 hours of our life (we do enjoy quoting it.)
As for Down to You...I remember really liking it, but that may have been because I was making out in my parent's basement during the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

Disreguard Abbys comment...there was Never any making out in our home.

Natalie Jane said...

Um....yes there was.

I caught all 3 of my sisters. Of course I never made out with anyone. Not until I was married.

Jodi Renshaw said...

I HATED Pulp Fiction ... while the entire world seemed to love it. Gratuitous violence is not my thing.

But I am seeing some movies in the comments that I LOVED. Magnolia (so profound), Star Wars (could that person seriously not like Star Wars???), Napolean Dynamite (did that person never attend high school??).

But there are some REALLY horrible movies listed here that I forgot about: Anchorman, Talledega Nights, Borat, Dumb & Dumber ... I totally agree!


Natalie Jane said...

I have to agree with those who love Napoleon Dynamite. It is one of my very favorite movies. One of the few I actually own.

Anonymous said...

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
was the worst movie EVER (in my lifetime at least)

xcdenke said...

I'm so sad I was not paying attention to your blog during this giveaway. I LOVE to rip on movies and thanks to Xander and living in Hollywood for the last 8 years I have become a bonafide movie snob too. We recently just watched (tried to get through and turned off) Zohan. Wow, that was an extreme low for Adam Sandler and that isn't saying much when it comes to his classy movies. I have to say that fortunately, I haven't seen many of the movies you listed, except for Hell Boy-ugh, and Bed of Roses, which I have no recollection of. Gee, must have been bad. BTW, Dover Farm, I'm so sorry for you.

Amy L said...

I also LOVE Bed of Roses, and so does my 21 year old daughter...Some BAD movies that come to mind are
"The Eyes of Laura Mars" (Hubby & I walked out of this one way back when we were dating)
"Dumb and Dumber" - HATED this one
"The Squid and the Whale" - Awful!

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