But it was just too much for me to put it all out there. So in a summery:
My surgery ended up taking a very long time due to excessive bleeding. My spinal started to wear off and I started to feel what was happening. I was almost put under, but they ended just in time. It was terrifying, and Shane was not able to stay with me past the point of the baby being born.
There is a bleed still occurring deep within my incision. My doctor had to open a hole and twice a day my mom packs it with gauze to help with the healing.
I'm in a lot of pain, and the thought of a open wound scares me to no end.
After my first catheter in the hospital, I lost the sensation of when I need to pee. This probably was caused by my spinal. A second catheter was placed to remove urine that I couldn't get out on my own.
This caused a UTI, which I still am getting over.
I still do not have the sensation to pee and have to remember to go. But actually peeing is very painful.
For some reason, I have lost much of my use of my right hand. This might have been due to the 9 times I was stuck when trying to place an IV. Currently I cannot write, cut my food, or anything that I need that type of hold. Diapering and dressing a newborn is especially hard. If you haven't received a thank you card from me, it's because my dominate hand does not work.
Typing is very slow.
On top of this, I just had a baby.
My boobs are killing me.
I'm crying a lot.
But I have been so looked out for. Friends have offered food and babysitting. My kids work hard to play and occupy themselves without mommy. My husband is such a blessing to me and brings chocolate and cuddles. My mom has stayed to take on the job of nurse to me and babysitter to my other two children. I don't know what I would have done without her.
I'm so in love with my baby girl.
So happy that I have a Heavenly Father who knew I would go through so much, and sent me a sweet, mild healthy baby who is such a comfort to me. She hardly ever cries. She sleeps at night until I wake her to eat. I hold her close, breath her in and think over and over again. Worth it.
Not blogging a lot right now since I can't use my right hand very well.
I'm better on my phone.
Keep in touch via instagram @natssentiments.