I just stumbled across your blog the other day (and now have been reading it non-stop), but I had to email you and thank you personally for putting yourself out there and being so honest about motherhood!
I taught first grade for 5 years and for the past year I have stayed home with my two boys (ages 3 and1). It has been such a difficult year for me...I've felt like such a failure because I don't like being a stay-at-home mom (or maybe I feel like I'm not good at it...or could it be that my youngest still isn't sleeping through the night...??). I feel like I have been going through a mid-life crisis...at age 29, ha! I'll spare you the details, but I am so thankful I have found your blog. Knowing I'm not the only one who hasn't found motherhood to be all rainbows and butterflies has helped me feel better :) Also, your posts about marriage have been eye-opening. I have for sure been taking out my frustrations this past year on my poor husband. I owe him big time.
A million thanks
Dear Reader -
When we don't admit how hard this job is, we are just procrastinating the day when it catches up with us. We have to allow ourselves the moments to sit down and cry at just how much this motherhood takes. Of course it's wonderful and a blessing unlike any other. Admitting how hard it is, doesn't negate that. Remember that sometimes we have to stay in purely survival mode for a time. Sometimes it's all we can do to just keep our family feed and safe. As long as your children feel loved, they will be okay.
Surround yourself with mothers who understand and who are without pretense. Who make you feel good and know when to step in. Remember the things you loved before being a mother, and don't give them up. Allow yourself some "I NO WORK TODAY" days. Allow yourself to step outside of your home, just you. Leave the kids with your husband and go drive with the windows down. Drink in the summer air, sip your favorite soda and listen to the radio. Find a place to lay in the sun, close your eyes and feel the yellow light on your face. You will feel better when you leave the walls of your house. Don't let them be a prison. Stepping out of them reminds you how much you enjoy coming home.
You really aren't alone. I didn't know how I would survive my motherhood crisis. I was 29 too. I did survive though and you will too.
And don't forget to pray. Pray for your babies, your husband and pray for you. Of one thing I'm completely positive, God sees the job we are doing as the most important on earth.