Well, today is the day. I've been married 10 years! This morning, 10 years ago, I was waking up on a perfect Spring morning, ready to be a bride. I lounged in the bath and tried to stay calm. (What if my dress is tight at last nights dinner?!?) I ate breakfast, and tried to stay calm. (Why didn't I get my hair highlighted last week?!) I got ready with my sisters and tried to stay calm. (Oh no! I forgot to pack my bridal jewelry!) Minutes before I was about to drive to the ceremony, I ceased being calm and started to freak out. (What if this backup photographer doesn't do a good job? The cake isn't going to be on time! Where are we going to get a last minute cake???) My mom calmly got me into the car and we drove the 5 minutes to the Spokane Temple. Shane wasn't there and I continued to freak out. (Quiet hyperventilating, but still freaking out.) Then I saw Shane walking up the steps in his black suit and all was right and perfect. It was the most wonderful day of my life.
The longer I'm married, the more this truth solidifies in my mind. Getting married is the biggest decision you will ever make. It is a much bigger deal that we can ever realize before actually making that choice. It is huge. Enormous. I've spent a lot of time with brides, from being a florist, photographer's assistant and working as a bridal consultant. If I could go back I would tell each of them the same thing. The wedding is just one day. Just one. The marriage is the part you need to be thrilled about. If it isn't, think really hard before you go through with it. This man will be part of every aspect of your existence. He will be the one constant in a world of change. Your greatest creations will be half of him. His happiness will be your new purpose in life. And your happiness the new purpose of his. This is not a decision to make lightly or quickly. Not a decision to make because you want something sparkly on your finger, that white dress or just to finally be a "Mrs".
As I wrote in my letter to my children:
Find the right spouse. Nothing in your life can bring as much joy, or sorrow, as the spouse you choose. When you marry someone, you are tethered to them. Your lives are the same. Find someone who brings light and love into your life. Find someone who is always kind to you. Someone who is kind to others. Who makes decisions based on your needs. Find someone you love to be around so much it hurts when they are away. Find someone who understands you need time for yourself as well. Find someone who shares your faith. Stay away from anyone who demeans or belittles you or doesn't understand your worth. Stay away from anyone lazy. Stay away from anyone who spends beyond their means. Stay away from anyone with addictions. ---- Don't rush. Don't let the excitement blur your vision of who someone really is. Take your time choosing this person. Get to know them. Live enough of your life to know what type of person you are looking for. And above all else, be the kind of person the man/women of your dreams would choose. - I married the man of my dreams, and other than having children, it is my greatest accomplishment.
Everyday I thank God that somehow, and the tender age of 23, I was able to choose someone like Shane. And that, for some inexplicable reason, he chose me as well.
Happy 10 Year Anniversary Sweetheart. I love you forever.