Friday, March 26, 2010

Admitting Defeat

Honestly, I had the best intentions for my Month of Health and Wellness. I have a huge list of great recipes, exercise tips and workout products I wanted to share. I wanted to spend the month focused on great eating and staying really active.

That didn't happen. Lydia was sick, then Collin. Shane worked more hours than should be legal. By the end of the day I was lucky that I got anything on the table at all. I did 4 days of great eating on the Mayo Clinic program, then Shane surprised me with an evening out. At a great restaurant. With my favorite steak. And dessert. I caved.

I really want to do this and jump start my fitness goals but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by life, I can't find even a moment to focus on me. I blog in the few minutes before bed because at that point, the only thing I have the energy to move are my fingers.

I'm depressed. Today I'm depressed because I feel like a failure. It seems like I have so far to go before I'll be where I want to be. I just stare at my pre-pregnancy jeans mocking me. I have no idea how to find the time to focus on myself. It didn't help that Shane came home from work at 8pm (early!) and surprised Lydia and I with an entire box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. "What are you doing to me" I yelled as I stuffed my face with a chocolate cake doughnut. I felt like I was at a bar, drowning my sorrows in a vodka tonic. Only my drink of choice was processed and refined carbs. And I've never actually had a drink of alcohol, but I'm guessing it feels much the same.    

(It really was sweet he brought them home. He brought me a box of Krispy Kremes the morning after we got engaged, and he repeats the gesture once a year or so.)  

Anyway, I'm ending this month of health and I hope to revisit it this summer. Maybe I can get my head above water for a bit by that time.

On a lighter note. Starting Monday I am moving into GIVEAWAY mode. I'll be hosting at least three giveaways next week and then the week after that.....Natalie's Monumental Mother's Day Giveaway! It is going to be huge. To the friends and family who will be emailing me saying "we want to see your family, not giveaways" remember, that was the whole reason I started my other blog :)

11 comments:

Love Being a Nonny said...

Today is a new day. Start again. We all fall short...OFTEN! One thing I do when I mess up with my eating....drink LOTS and LOTS and then a little more...WATER! It does help flush out some of the *junk*. You can do it. Summer is around the corner and you can get outside in the warm fresh air. Somehow that helps the mood...AND the eating habits! Looking forward to your giveaway. I am having one starting today.

A Baby Peach said...

I'm sorry! Don't beat yourself up...this happens to everyone!!! Even people without all the stress and chaos you've been having! If it makes you feel any better I've totally sucked at this, too. I've actually gained 1 lb since starting to eat healthier and got a huge Gigi's cupcake (about 1000 calories!) Monday before I went dairy free to "celebrate". LOL Not good!

Natalie Jane said...

Wait. Gigi's cupcakes have 1000 CALORIES?!?!?

Gross. Maybe a doughnut isn't that bad.

Kate said...

I know how you feel! It's been weeks since I blogged, but by the time I get home from work, make dinner, and get a few things done, all I want to do is lie down on the couch and zone out to some HGTV - and I don't even have kids yet! I love your blog (no matter what you're posting about) and it's easy to see that you work so hard. So don't be too hard on yourself. :-)

Carrie said...

I totally understand. Especially the doughnuts part... no matter how many times I tell my husband not to bring any home, he always thinks he's doing me a favor when he "accidentally" gets me my favorite, chocolate cream. I yell at him like you did as I shove the doughnut in my face.

Maybe start it up again this summer when you feel ready. I'm totally on board. I'm only giving myself a few weeks of total apathy after the baby is born, and then I want to really get in shape. It took 1 year to lose the baby weight from my first pregnancy and I don't want to go down that road again. We can be health and wellness buddies this summer!

Carrie said...

P.S.- I did Weight Watchers which counts points, and the bagels at Dunkin Donuts had as many points as the doughnuts!!! So, you never know....

Brittany said...

You are not a failure... quite the contrary! You are just way too hard on yourself. BTW I L.O.V.E. your blog! It's one of my favorites! :)

The Linabooty's said...

I think being able to admit this defeat is a victory in itself. I find so many women (myself included) who push themselves so hard. Since Harper was born I have lost 40 pounds (have tons more to go) but continue to gain and lose at least 15 of those pounds over and over again. Losing weight/getting healthy has to come from a place of caring for yourself and nuturing yourself or it wont be successfull. I have to continually remind myself of this. Take your time having a baby is monumental there's no rush plus you look fabulous anyway!:)

Lisa Lew said...

I have been fighting 10 lbs. for the last 5 years. I finally joined Weight Watchers and now I'm down 7 lbs. in 4 weeks! I never would have even considered it, but I had two friends doing it so I thought what the heck. I have to say, I'm very glad I did it. It's so educational and helpful. You might want to give it a try. I was sure pleased.

Shane said...

No more donuts for you. Next time you can sit and watch Lydia and I stuff our faces with edible happines... by ourselves.

What's this Month of Health business? I've never heard of that. And why do you need it? You're a stone cold fox and I could roll you at any moment. Put that diet book down and come give me some lovin'... and bring a sandwich, woman.

Natalie Jane said...

I'm like 5 seconds from deleting your comment Shane. :) But since no one will see it since the post was written so long ago, I'll leave it. Roll me huh?

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