Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My Baby

Collin is 5 weeks old and I am smitten. Those darling little checks, those blue eyes that watch me so intently. He is the sweetest baby I could imagine.

It may sound strange, but Shane and I weren't sure how we felt about having a boy. When we first found out I was expecting, it just seemed natural to refer to the baby as a "she". We even had the name picked out. It wasn't that we felt some insight one way or the other, we just wanted a girl. When the ultrasound showed it to be a boy, we weren't disappointed per say, just a little unsure. This feeling stayed with us until he was born.


As I'm sure more experienced parents could guess, we now cannot imagine our home without our little boy. Not much for screaming (thank heavens) his little kitten-like cries pull me immediately from whatever I am doing to comfort him. I listen to Shane on the baby monitor cooing and cuddling Collin, calling him "my little man" and I know Shane is thrilled to have a son. Lydia is completely captivated by Collin, so much that it feels as if half of my life is nursing and the other half is protecting Collin from a big sister who doesn't know what "softly" means.

I am tired. Collin wakes up every hour and a half at night. He sleeps all day...except during Lydia's nap. I think he knows that he is safe from 3 year old fingers during that time. As such, I am not getting much done. Around 4pm, Collin falls asleep and I let Lydia watch a cartoon so that I can make dinner. I get to the housework slowly. I blog for 30 minutes in the evening as a bit of downtime.

Things will get back to normal eventually. Shane and I will be able to have weekly dates again. Nights will become restful someday. My house will return to some semblance of organization and I will see my girlfriends in time. Right now however, I am trying to enjoy this little pocket of time when I am everything to my baby. Too soon, I will miss holding him close to me at night. Someday, very soon, this part will be over. I wished away Lydia's baby days. Of course, they were the most difficult day's of my life. However, I know, so clearly now that those days of pure innocence are so fleeting. The days of lullabies and milky kisses pass by and all I will have left of them will be hazy memories. But for right now, they are my reality, and for that I am eternally grateful.

7 comments:

Misty said...

Treasure every single moment...I know I do! I told you that little boy would melt your heart in ways you could not imagine! Congratulations one more time and....I can't believe he is 5 weeks already! Whew!

Jacky said...

He is just precious...I come from a family of 5 girls, and my mom always tells me I'm going to have a bunch of sons to make up for it...not sure how I feel about that one, but if Collin's cuteness is any indication, sign me up! =)

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Those are the sweatest pictures! My FAVORITE times are baby times... :)

Molly said...

Natalie Collin is adorable. I can't wait to see him in person. I don't know when that will be but hopefully sooner then later

Madeline and Family said...

He is adorable as Molly said. I think he looks a lot like Lydia. You are so lucky to have two beautiful children.

Heather said...

You may get that cuddle time longer than you expect! My little boy just turned one and he still likes to cuddle up with me in bed! I've heard that boys are more cuddle prone than little girls, and in the case of my daughter and son, it's true! Beautiful children, hope you get some rest soon!

Gloria said...

I enjoy your blog and hearing and seeing your family and what you are doing and how you are doing. They do grow up fast, so slow down and enjoy. The baby fat doesn't go away as quickly as we'd like, but we all have to endure that awful situation for awhile. The only problem is, I don't have an excuse anymore. love ya, Aunt Gloria

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