Happy

The other night I was out to dinner with my friend Randi. She and I used to hang out all the time in high school, but then came college and then married life, during which we only saw each other in group settings. This was the first time she and I had talked alone for over a decade. This was an interesting situation to be in. All though we had never lost touch and we knew what the other was "doing" in life, we had been unable to stay close. 10 years is a lot of time to try to catch up on in one evening. Maybe that is why I was struck by a question she asked me.

She asked "Are you happy?".

In all my life I cannot remember ever being asked that question. At least not by anyone who was not asking for personal verification of their efforts in my life.

My answer came rather quickly, and over the next few days I thought about the truth behind the answer.

Yes. I am very happy. I am happy because I married Shane.

Of course there are other things in my life that make me happy and bring me joy. My religion, my daughter, my family. Good hair cuts, sleeping in, tax refunds. I am happy with the woman I have become and the woman that I am still developing into. But there are a lot of things in my daily life that make me feel less than happy. Boredom, self-doubt, frustration, laundry. Trying to stay positive can be difficult during the 10th diaper change of the day, or while my toddler thrashes in the grocery store in a wild tantrum. (Or better yet, a crazed tantrum during a diaper change. My favorite.)

In the end, however, I am truly and desperately happy. I have Shane at the end of the day. I found the person that fits me perfectly and loves me unconditionally. I am happy because seven years ago today I married someone who I believed to be the man of my dreams, and everyday since he has proven me to be right.

Happy Anniversary Shane.