It's funny, but I expected to be depressed when I got home. Our vacation was beyond perfect and I thought that knowing it was all over would make this week rough. But strangely, the opposite is happening. This vacation gave me something I have been pining for since I became a mother. Time to step back and gaze upon this life I am living.
(to quote myself)
"I can't see around the haze of motherhood with enough clarity. I know I need to enjoy my children. Everyday I should plop down on the floor and color and play for hours. But that is the exact problem. It is EVERYDAY. ALL DAY LONG. I try to explain to Shane that he leaves his job at the end of the day and comes home. But my home is my job. I never leave. My freedom is relativity non existent. It is difficult to constantly embrace what you can never get away from....
I don't want to miss these amazing moments with my children, just because I am drowning in them. I need to step away so I can see them with clarity."
The past couple days home have been some of best part of my vacation. I finally got the chance to miss my children. I got to remember what it was like before we had them. Even though our week in Maui was amazing, a week was as long as I would want to be apart from them. But what an incredible gift to have real time away. When we came home everything they did and said made me smile. I felt my heart tug in a way I had never felt in my 5 and a half years of being a mother. Has Collin always had that adorable voice? Has Lydia's laugh always been that infectious? I love my kids so much. But stepping away from them makes me love them even more. I have a strong feeling that it makes them love me more too.
2 comments:
ooo, pretty yellow! Can't wait to see the rest of the pics! I wish I could get a chance to miss my kids.
I wish this was a facebook post just so I could "like" it. Sometimes it's hard to get perspective if you never get to back up enough to see the picture. We all try, but things like getting some time away from your kids makes you realize that you don't want too much time away from them :) Glad you had fun and even more glad that you're pleasantly surprised about coming home.
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