Our vacation is officially over and we're home. Thanks to my wonderful mother, my home is clean and my kids are happy. I have lots of photos to go through and even more laundry to do.
It's funny, but I expected to be depressed when I got home. Our vacation was beyond perfect and I thought that knowing it was all over would make this week rough. But strangely, the opposite is happening. This vacation gave me something I have been pining for since I became a mother. Time to step back and gaze upon this life I am living.
(to quote myself)
"I can't see around the haze of motherhood with enough clarity. I know I need to enjoy my children. Everyday I should plop down on the floor and color and play for hours. But that is the exact problem. It is EVERYDAY. ALL DAY LONG. I try to explain to Shane that he leaves his job at the end of the day and comes home. But my home is my job. I never leave. My freedom is relativity non existent. It is difficult to constantly embrace what you can never get away from....
I don't want to miss these amazing moments with my children, just because I am drowning in them. I need to step away so I can see them with clarity."
The past couple days home have been some of best part of my vacation. I finally got the chance to miss my children. I got to remember what it was like before we had them. Even though our week in Maui was amazing, a week was as long as I would want to be apart from them. But what an incredible gift to have real time away. When we came home everything they did and said made me smile. I felt my heart tug in a way I had never felt in my 5 and a half years of being a mother. Has Collin always had that adorable voice? Has Lydia's laugh always been that infectious? I love my kids so much. But stepping away from them makes me love them even more. I have a strong feeling that it makes them love me more too.