Thoughts while watching my baby sleep.

I never knew having a baby could be this wonderful. I keep expecting the euphoria to wear off, but each day I am more in love with this little boy than before. Life with Collin is the complete opposite as my experience with baby Lydia. Instead of waking to screams, I am greeted each morning by a gummy smile. Instead of pushing away from me when I want to hold him close, he welcomes my affection. I am putting in as much time and energy with this baby, but the rewards are instant. He loves me and he shows it. I never knew how important that affirmation could be. Lydia never showed a particular interest in me, and as you could imagine, confidence in my own mothering ability was materially damaged. It took this second child to reinstate that confidence. Somehow I stayed sane with the world's most difficult baby. I was thus rewarded by that baby growing into an enchanting little girl and a new baby boy who introduced me to a joy I had never known.

I keep whispering to Collin to slow down. Stop growing so fast. Stay little. At night, I bring him into bed to nurse and keep him with me long after he has fallen asleep. I brush my lips against his soft cheeks and nuzzle into his neck, breathing in his baby scent. I desperately try to cement the feeling into my memory.

Motherhood is strange sometimes. Even as I hold my baby, I mourn the loss of this time. No matter how many photos I take, or journal entries I write, I can never experience these moments again. My heart breaks knowing my son will only be a baby for a fraction of my time with him. God seems to know what He is doing. He send us these helpless creatures who completely ensnare us with their delicious sweetness. We will give up our every comfort for theirs. Once the love for a child is set, there is no breaking it and our hearts are left completely vulnerable. Heartache is guaranteed and yet we willing embrace it.

As I write, my baby is sleeping soundly beside me. I pray that someday when he holds his own child, he will have a small understanding of the love I feel for him now. That way, this moment never really has to end.

See my family blog for more photos and videos of Collin.

A trip to Nashville, and falling in love with drapery.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we hit the Tennessee State Fair this weekend. I will write about it once I wade through the dozens and dozens of photos of Lydia standing next to goats and pigs. However, I couldn’t wait to show you some photos of the hotel we stayed at, Union Station - A Wyndham Historical Hotel.

Nashville has incredible history and dazzling architecture and this hotel encompasses the very best of both. It was originally constructed over 100 years ago as the main train station in the area. The main terminal is now the lobby and is utterly breathtaking. 65-foot barrel ceiling fitted with stained glass. Perfection. Every surface is a work of art. The staircase left me wishing I had packed a ball gown, just so I could dress up and glide down to the formal restaurant below.

Our room was perfectly lovely. After the 2 hour drive we collapsed into our lush king bed fitted with the softest pillows and a thick down comforter. Shane took photos of the molding to add to our “dream house” file. How incredible are theses arches? Personally, I fell in love with the drapes. I want to turn them in to play clothes “Sound of Music” style. I wouldn’t call this trip romantic per sa (with two kids sharing the room) but Shane and I are already making plans to stay here again - alone.

Sewing for the non-sewer

I bought a new shirt from Banana Republic to wear on my birthday date with Shane. It looked cute online and was a great price on "final sale" clearance. When it finally arrived I was thrilled with the color and the soft silk. Then I tried it on. HIDEOUS! The sleeves looked like you could stuff football pads underneath them. What to do? I couldn't return it. I don't sew. My sewing kit consists of 5 spools of thread and a few needles. Luckily, that ended up being enough.

I knew that there would be too much bulk if I added a cardigan so I took control. I cut the sleeves off. I didn't measure, I just cut them off. It was kind liberating.

I just stared at the extra material I cut off (there was a lot of it) trying to figure out what to do with it. I ended up creating a little flower pin. I used the elastic from the end of the sleeve, gathered it and sewed it together to create the flower's center. Then I tucked the material behind the center and stitched it in place. I added a vintage black bead for a finishing touch. I pinned it to my "girls night" bag (my friend Kristi is famous for them) and I had a fabulous accessory for my big night out. No sewing machine needed!

Maybe it is because I can't sew that I want so badly to win something like this for Lydia.

New Blog Design

I stayed up late last night and redesigned my blog. I like how it turned out, but it was hard for me to say goodbye to the yellow. I started adding yellow to my home and wardrobe to help lighten my spirits during a very difficult pregnancy and c-section recovery. Now I feel great, I have the sweetest baby imaginable and it is time to put the yellow away. At least until Spring. As fall creeps nearer, I am feeling the pull of pumpkins, turning leaves, apple cider and sweaters. If I could choose a season that's the most "me", it would be fall.

I have been loving the orange and turquoise color combo for a few years now. Turquoise is one of my staple accessory colors. It looks great on every complexion. Maybe that is why I am always making turquoise jewelry. Orange is classic fall and one of those colors that has a very short season, so might as well enjoy it while you can. I have tons of new ideas for my "currently" sidebar, so keep checking back this week!

I really like popcorn. A lot.

If you know me well, you know that I am a bit of an air popped popcorn addict. I have it at least 3 times a week.

Look at the little friend who popped out of my popcorn popper to wish me a happy birthday!

Of course, who am I to waste a good piece of popcorn?

Winners!!!

The winner of the ThisHoliday.com Giveaway is Nikki.

The winner of the Leesaland Jewelry Giveaway is JPJ.

Congrats! Email me and I will get you your prizes.

10 Years Ago Today

10 years ago today I met this guy named Shane (the one in the brown). My best friend Carrie (the really tan blond one) was finally turning 21 and a few of us were going out to dinner and then dancing. One of my close friends from High School, Rusty (the one in the dark blue) asked if he could invite his old mission companion, Shane. I said "as long as he is cool and can dance".

I showed up in my black wig and polyester vintage shirt (yes, that is me), not expecting to meet the "coolest, hottest guy ever". (As quoted from my journal entry that night.) By the end of the night I was having to remind myself not to smile like a total idiot at everything he said. I actually gave him my number without him asking (a first for me).

9 years ago today, that guy Shane proposed. I was wearing the same black wig and polyester shirt and we went to that same restaurant. He proposed on a mountain overlooking the city lights. Saying yes was the easiest decision of my life. 8 months later, we were married.

A lot has changed in the last 10 years, but often I still have to keep myself from smiling like a total idiot at everything Shane says.

Want to see a couple minute video recap of the last 10 years? Click here.

Thank you Lisa for finding me this photo! (She is the one in the stripes)

Happy 31st Birthday Carrie!

Happy 10 year anniversary to Rusty and Sara too! Rusty (the friend from high school) met Shane's sister Sara that same night 10 years ago today. They were married the next June. Sara isn't in the photo as she wasn't old enough to come dancing with us. She still hasn't forgiven us all for ditching her :)

WINNER!!!!

The winner of the Sew Cute Shop "Auty Top" is Granola Girl! (I promise! I know she is my friend but she really did win! Random.org doesn't cheat. You can ask my Brother-in-law Garrett, he was witness.)

My Birthday

Two days before my birthday, Shane came home armed with an eclair and a bouquet of flowers. He said my birthday was starting early and that the next day he was taking work off and I could do anything I wanted. Alone. Without the kids. Hallelujah! I woke up, got dressed and took off. I spent the day roaming little boutiques, lunching on a restaurant patio with free WiFi, and reading. I went home every couple of hours to nurse Collin and would find Shane busy cleaning up and playing with Lydia. How's that for a perfect day?

In the evening I went to the movies with some girlfriends. We saw "The Time Travelers Wife". Don't hate me, but did anyone else think it was better than the book? If you are going to see it, bring tissues. After the movie we went out for "drinks" (meaning lemonade) and appetizers (HUGE nachos) and of course, cake. My diet took a birthday hiatus.

My actual birthday was just as perfect. After a breakfast of peaches and strawberries with cream (my favorite) I spent the morning cruising the local consignment fair (thanks for the early pass Brandy!) and had the most luxurious massage at a downtown spa. (Thanks Mary Lea!) I came home to find Lydia and Shane putting the finishing touches on my cake. After blowing out the candles, opening gifts and eating a small(ish) piece of cake, I leisurely got ready for a date and was ready just as our babysitter arrived (thanks Jenn!)

Shane and I tried a romantic Italian restaurant in downtown Chattanooga. The Ossobuco was to die for and the Tiramisu divine. What is it about low lights and exposed brick walls that makes you want to bare your souls and then make out? :)

I couldn't have planned my birthday better.

As a side note, you know that your friends and family know you well when your gifts seem to follow a theme. For the most part they were either.....

for the kitchen....

(Thank you for the pots and pans mom and dad!)

Or yellow. Of course. :)

Thank you to everyone who made my birthday so utterly fantastic.

WINNER!!!

The winner of the Blue Buggy Giveaway is AmyDear. Congrats! Email me and I will get you your prize.

Grandma's Earrings

I was planning to turn some vintage clip earring into hair pins, but I just couldn't seem to part with them. I still want to be able to wear them as earrings if I have the whim. However, that isn't very often, so they usually just sit at the bottom of my jewelry box. Last week I was getting dressed and I had a little fashion epiphany. Why not use one to clip my cardigan to my shell top? It gives just a hint of unexpected glamor, and I must say, is awfully sweet. It is also great to keep the cardigan in place. Grandma would be proud.

(Sorry about the cleavage. I blame nursing.)

Winner!

The winner of the Lannae Johnson Designs giveaway is...Amy. Congrats! Email me and I can get you your prize.

By the way....

If you happen to be new to my blog, I just thought I would let you know that I'm not usually an everyday blogger. Usually about 3 times a week. 4 max. But, since I have to announce the winners of my Birthday Extravaganza anyway, I might as well attach a post to it. I felt the need to clarify so I don't appear to be a blogging junkie. Really. I'm not. Promise.

Sweater Weather

We woke up the other day to find just a hint of chill in the air. Lydia broke out the sweater trunk and put together an outfit. She has great style :)

I'm not kidding when I say all I do to her hair is brush it after I wash it and it naturally looks like this. I know it is wrong to be jealous of your daughter, but come on! I want that hair!

Winners!

The winner of the Reckon Onesie Giveaway is Heather. (It seems the first comment can win!)

The winner of the Tennessee State Fair Giveaway is Bianca.

Congrats!!!! Email me ladies and I can get you your prizes!